More About Me and What I Do

So I thought I'd just post some facts about me so that people can know a little bit more about the work I do and what I'm about.

Birthplace: San Diego, California (Navy Brat)

Date of birth: May 29, 1985

States I've Lived In: California, Arkansas, Michigan, Pennsylvania, Texas, Georgia, South Carolina, and Florida

Countries I've Visited: Germany, France (Paris), and England (London)

Survivor of: Child abuse (lasted until I was 17 and moved out), Domestic Violence (after 9 months of being in an abusive marriage, I left, well technically he was the one who came to me saying he had found someone else and that he was living a lie being with me and no longer loved me), Cerebral Palsy (I was diagnosed with CP when I was born and doctors said I'd never walk or talk but I turned out to be a miracle baby and with therapy and speech lessons when I was a little girl, I learned to walk and talk), I was also molested by a male doctor when I was younger and I'm just now realizing that things I went through with guy friends that I trusted could be considered sexual assault, and in the past, I did try to end my life through ODing and cutting

Education: I only have a high school diploma. I graduated when I was 16 because my parents took me out of the Christian school I was attending and made me complete my 10 through 12th grade years in 6 months' time because they wanted me out of the house. They sent me to Pensacola Christian College and I was only there for 1 semester because I couldn't afford the tuition though I was on the work study program there. It is my goal to go back to college eventually though I'm undecided in what I would major in. I know that people think that you have to have college in order to be smart and get far in life but that's not true. There are people out there doing just fine and getting far who never went to college. I think I'm doing fine for myself considering I don't have college.

Writing: I've had people ask me before if I took any classes to learn to write the way I do. No, I never really had any writing classes. It's just a gift I have that comes naturally to me. The key to my writing is that I write from my heart. The majority of my writing comes from my own personal experiences and observations of what goes on in life. There are those who think I should write more positive things but I believe that the truth about what goes on in the life of an abuse survivor and victim need to be told without sugarcoating it because to say that life is all positive, glitter and glam is not reality. Reality is that we go through struggles and battles everyday. Why sugarcoat the issues that go on when that will never tear the walls of ignorance down and will give people a false illusion of what happens in every day life? I don't believe in sugar coating things. I believe in keeping it real.

Becoming An Author: I never was planning on having any of my work published. I loved to write poetry, even though I hated memorizing poems in 9th grade. I didn't even like reading it, for that matter so its' kind of ironic that I write poetry. I only shared my poetry on a website I was a member of for a few years. But one of my friends encouraged me to publish my work and said it could help many out there. So in 2006, at the age of 21, my first book of poetry came out. I was surprised how many people have responded to my writing and how they tell me that it has helped them. I also like to write blogs that talk about and cover certain issues that we survivors and victims go through in life. My goal with my writing is to spread awareness and educate those who have never been abused as well as reach out to victims and survivors to let them know they are not alone in what they go through.

My Books: I currently have 4 books out. The two poetry ones I have out are From One Survivor To Another: Poetry For The Abuse Survivor's Heart and Taking My Life Back: Poems From The Healing Heart of an Abuse Survivor which was the first book I put out. The other two are blogs and poems mixed together and they are Heart and Soul of a Survivor and Still Standing Strong: Surviving The Storms of Abuse. Those books can be found on Amazon.com and through different bookstore websites such as Books A Million, Borders, Hastings, Barnes and Noble, etc. I don't really advertise my writing though because I'm not about what I can get out of helping others and not about profiting from it. For me, it's all about helping people overcome obstacles and heal more in their life journey. The greatest feeling to me is knowing that in some small way I can make a difference in the life of someone else. To me, it's not about competition, fame or popularity and I honestly can't stand when people make it that way. I think that some lose focus on what it's really about, it's not about you, it's about those you are helping.

Rising Above Magazine: In February/March of 2008, I came up with an idea to put out an Ezine to help survivors and victims and give them a voice and allow their stories to be heard. I realized that there weren't many magazines out there that were for survivors and victims of abuse. Writing is a very competitive world with so many authors and writers out there and since I got rejected by magazines and newspapers when I sent out resumes, I decided that I would just create my own. But that's not the only reason why I created and founded Rising Above. This Ezine is for victims and survivors and the mission is to cover topics that we face and challenges we go through as well as encouraging, motivating, and inspiring others so they know they are not alone. It helps to read what others have gone through because you can draw strength from it, knowing that hey, if this person went through all of that and survived, then so can I. Rising Above is non profit and the staff is a group of volunteer survivors who share the same passion of reaching out. I made the Ezines free to download because that way more people can read it and the magazine can reach even more. The official website is www.risingabovemagazine.com. At Rising Above, we believe that every story deserves to be told and every voice deserves to be heard. I have high hopes that this magazine can go far and touch many lives out there. I'm fortunate to be working with a great group that believes in the same mission that I do.

Future Goals I Have: Well, I want to become an inspirational and motivational speaker as well as continue to write. I am now working on books 5 and 6 as well as attempting to try my hand at writing a novel, something I have never done before. I want to also start my own shop that showcases the work of other survivors as well as my own work. Sometime in the distant future I would love to start a school for survivors and victims where they can be in an environment with others that can relate to them and understand without being judged for what they have gone through and where they can learn to keep rising above and overcoming obstacles as they continue to heal from the past.

My motivation and inspiration for what the work I do: Honestly my motivation and inspiration comes from knowing there are so many victims and survivors out there whose hearts are crying out for someone to listen to them. There are still so many trapped in darkness that need our help. I know what it's like to have to go through things alone because I was one of those kids that had to grow up too fast and I had to face challenges and struggles on my own. I never had anyone there to talk to about what was going on at home and I was threatened into silence. Now that I have broken my silence and now that I am free from the abuse, it's my passion to serve as a voice for those who have gone unheard. What happened to me I don't want to happen to others. Sadly, so many don't make it out alive and die at the hands of their abusers. I want the world to know what goes on because then maybe more will start helping and start caring instead of believing myths about survivors and victims. It's time to break down those walls of ignorance that keep the truth from being told. I encourage those survivors who are ready to speak out to let their voices be heard loud and clear. When we unite together and fight together, we can be a positive change in this world. It doesn't matter how old we are, we can make a difference and a change. Survivors and victims read our stories and they see us as role models and heroes because our stories of what we survived gives them hope and faith that they too can make it in life so they have something to hold onto.

My heroes and role models in life: Martin Luther King, Jr. and Mother Teresa, my survivor friends who have overcome obstacles and have risen above, and all those who are making a difference in this world as they relieve pain and suffering that goes on and give others hope and faith to hold on. A few people that I admire and respect for the work they are doing are Angelina Jolie (Goodwill Ambassador), Martina McBride (spokesperson for Domestic Violence hotline), Tori Amos (rape survivor and musician whose powerful music inspires victims and survivors), Mariska Hargitay (rape crisis counselor and founder and President of The Joyful Heart Foundation which aids victims of rape), Oprah Winfrey (she's done so much with the Giving Back campaign she started), Bono (One Campaign to relieve and help stop poverty), Nicole Kidman (speaks out on violence against women), my best friend Eddie who has taught so much and has shown me what it's like to really live again and has supported me in all my work

Favorite Music: I love to listen to bands and musicians that I can relate to. I tend to listen to positive music and it does play a part in my writing because I often listen to music when I write. The following are some of my favorite bands and musicians that I find to be very inspiring and motivating: Bon Jovi, Three Doors Down, One Republic, Mariah Carey, Martina McBride, Reba McEntire, Matchbox 20, Rob Thomas, Breaking Benjamin, Papa Roach, Phil Collins, Avril Lavigne, Pink, Linkin Park, Josh Groban, Goo Goo Dolls, Simple Plan, Gavin DeGraw, Rascal Flatts, Lifehouse, Celine Dion, Sarah McLachlan, 12 Stones, The Calling, Nickelback, Three Days Grace, Maroon 5, Kelly Clarkson, Jon McLaughlin, Good Charlotte, Savage Garden, Foo Fighters, Staind, Dido, Jewel, Kate Voegele, Evanescence, Hinder, Aerosmith, POD, Default, Tori Amos, Carrie Underwood, and many more

Thoughts on Being a Survivor: Being a survivor is an every day thing but it's nothing to be ashamed of. For a long time, I tried to block out what I had gone through and tried to run away from my history until I saw that I couldn't run away from something that is a part of me. As survivors, we don't dwell on the past, but we use our experiences to show the world what we are about and what we had to go through. Dwelling on the past is allowing our abusers to still control our lives and to not ever move forward in our healing process or do what we need to do in order to keep going. But we're speaking out and sharing our stories which is way different than dwelling in the past. Speaking out is the first step to healing and moving forward. Yes, when we speak out, we are going to have those who judge us and make assumptions as they try to analzye us but they're not the ones we need to be focusing on or concerned about. We should be focused on those who do need us. I don't regret what I do because I know I'm making a difference in this world. Would I ever change my past? Sure, I've thought about what it would be like if I could change it but in the end, I know I wouldn't be who I am today and wouldn't be able to help others if I wouldn't have gone through the abuse as I did. I choose to take the negative and make it positive by using it to reach out to others. After being silent for so long, I have found my voice and there's no way I'm going to shut up now. It doesn't matter where we started out in life, it matters where we are now and what we are doing with our lives. Too many people fixate on a person's past but we shouldn't be defined by what happened back then when it wasn't our fault. We should be defined by who we are today, which are strong survivors making something of our lives. It's never too late to live the life we've wanted and living an abuse free life is possible despite what others may think or say. The key to living the life we want is to not think about what could have been but picture what can be, discovering the courage we have within. There's a world out there that is hurting that is in need of hope and faith and we can give that to them. You see, as survivors, we have the upperhand in helping others because we've been there before and we have an insight to what it is like to live the life of a victim and transform into a survivor. If we all just work together instead of competing against one another and comparing stories, then we can rescue and save those lives that are still trapped before it's too late. What we went through doesn't have to happen to others out there.

Where I'm at Today Compared to Where I Was Before: Since leaving home and breaking the chain of abuse that I went through, I have seen just how much I have grown as a person. Back then, I was afraid to speak out and I tried to run and hide all the time. I was this person who was scared and afraid of taking chances and risks in life. But through the years, I've found my voice again and have started taking steps to go after my dreams and goals that I never had the chance to achieve. To me life is short so I want to make the most out of every moment I have. I know I have more healing to do and more growing to do. Every day I learn something new about myself as I embark on this journey. But I know who I am and what I want in life and I'm going for it, seizing every opportunity that comes my way because I know I have nothing to lose anymore. I'm finally getting to that point where I have confidence in myself as I put back together the pieces of my broken heart. My wings have begun to heal so that I can soar to new heights. Some may say that I'm a caterpillar in a cocoon that is waiting to break through, but I am a butterfly that has all ready broken through and escaped abuse and now I am taking flight. That cocoon was in the past when I didn't speak out. Now that I have found my freedom, I'm a butterfly!

Greatest Gifts In Life We Can Give Others: Hope, faith, love, inspiration, comfort, encouragement, compassion, motivation

What Helping Others is All About: Helping others is not about us and what we can gain from it. It's about those we are reaching. It's about listening to others share their stories without judging, assuming or analyzing. It's not about taking but about giving back. It's about being the change in the world that we wish to see and it's about making a difference in someone's life without the need for popularity or fame. It's not a competition or about who is doing more for people. It's not about comparing stories and battle scars, either. It is about fighting together, standing with each other on life's battlefield, being a voice for those who don't have a voice, sacrificing to rescue others, showing compassion towards one another, repairing wings that have been damaged and mending broken hearts, spreading awareness and educating those who aren't aware of what goes on, and helping others rebuild their lives as they write a new sequel to the past chapters of their lives. It's about making the world a better place for our children, their children, and future generations to come. It's about giving our time and doing the best we can as we relieve the pain and suffering of those around us. It's not about looking for a prize or winning an award because the greatest reward we all ready have which is knowing we are making a difference and touching hearts and souls everywhere we go.